Today, I learned about the Chinese Military-Issue Shovel, which, well-

 …yeah, it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. I am prone to hyperbole, so take that previous sentence with a whole heaping truckload of salt, but it’s still the greatest thing I’ve ever seen. Look at it! LOOK AT THE SHOVEL! OBSERVE WHAT IT CAN DO!

 It’s not just that it’s Chinese, or military grade, because those are two things that I don’t like. I don’t like those things.

 Rather it’s that as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself being more and more attracted to things of Superb Practical Use. I like C-Stands, I like gaff tape, I like my moleskine notebook, I like my measuring tape. Here is a list of things that have, in my opinion, Superb Practical Use:

• sriracha
• Basketball games in HD
• zipcodes
• the internet
• electricity
• gravity
• bread
• PAM

 I guess this makes sense, given my line of work, or maybe because of that pesky little Y chromosome. I mean my father had something like 13 licenses, and I always thought that was really cool. Also, this right here is my leatherman, which I got for Christmas in 2005. I fucking love my leatherman, and it’s with great sadness that I leave it behind whenever I get on an airplane.

 It works with people too. I really like people who Know how to Do Stuff. If you can cook, or sauder, or knit, or fix a car engine, chances are I will like you more because of it. I can’t do anything, and I’m pretty smart, so I find you being able to do stuff really impressive. Do you know people who can do stuff? Send ‘em my way! I’ll try not to scare them. Although I’m not making any promises.

-diggy