Today I learned about the policies and politics of (presumed) Supreme Court-nominee Elena Kagan. Usually at this point, I’d write about how unfortunate it is that I (we [you]) hear about a new previously-unknown Justice and think “well, lemme go look up a couple things on the internet to determine whether I ‘like’ this or not,” which is really just a pompous excuse to be intellectually lazy and have someone just tell one what they’re supposed to think. Yup, usually that’s what I’d be doing.

Instead, I started to write little songs because I think her name is fun to say and has good meter. Also, because I’ve had far too much coffee. This was the best one:

Your record’s not stellar but neither is mine

Double-up, sub semper branch porcupine

Oh Eleeeeeena

Elena and me…

You don’t hire women, you don’t hire blacks

But you’re probably gay, which is kinda great

We’re similar, so similar

Doooo waaaah

*hand claps*

Elena Kagan, Elena Kagan

Harvard Law, Carl Sagan

Or perhaps that’s not how it’s pronounced…

How am I to knooooooow?

I’ve only read about you

We’ve never met, we’ve never met

-diggy