SPOILER ALERT: This is gonna be one of those articles that is much much more about me sifting through various interesting thoughts going on in my head right now than it is about learning. If you want a post about actual *learning* learning, click on the random button at the top of the page about 5 or 6 times until you come to an article that satisfies you.

SECOND SPOILER ALERT: This posting is also going to discuss in vague detail the comings and goings of the television show Lost. If you’ve never seen the show and don’t want to be spoiled as to what it’s about, Fuck You. I can’t believe you didn’t watch Lost. You’re a fucking idiot. I told you it was good…! What the fuck else did you want? When have I ever steered you wrong as to shit that is “worth your fucking time”? Never. Never. Fuck you, dummy, you should’ve been watching Lost. Get the fuck off my blog and never come back.

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 So. On Sunday, the final episode of Lost will air. It will end what has been for me been a 5 year journey, and it will end with a definitiveness that will be both gratifying and disappointing. Gratifying because it is leaving on it’s own terms, saying it’s peace and then riding off into the sunset with the writers swearing off the possibility of sequels or movies. It will be it’s own set story, and one’s interpretations of it will have to come from rote canon, and nothing else.

It will be disappointing because I’ve become accustomed to the things I really, truly, deeply loving not ending. Truth be told (and in conjunction with the sixth season being so driven by the notion of faith/spirituality or even religion), stories tend to continue on. Stories and myth manifest over and over, and never before has there been a show that took more pride in being the “show about stories”; the meta-fictional self-awareness; the “we know and have to take into consideration how everything may be perceived by everyone everywhere for all time” than Lost.

 And trust me, it hasn’t always been easy. But I am nothing if not a Loyalist, and when people complained about the gaping plot holes, or Nikki and Paulo in season 3, or really just season 3 in general, I was there to remind everyone that this was a rollercoaster ride (a free one that you could get on network television, by the way), and you could either enjoy the ups and downs, or you could spend your time doing anything else. Not just a Loyalist, or an Apologist, I became entrenched in the worship of Lost. I think it’s (capital I) Important, and I refuse to back off that claim. Listen: it meant a lot to me.

 But on Sunday it ends, and I have no idea how it’s going to end, or why. I suspect I will like the things I like, and force myself to like the things I don’t.

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 I have this horrible habit of reading really great sentences and deciding that there’s truth in power. I love to quote “Nothing ever truly ends,” and hoping that that’s the case. But really, sometimes things end. I moped when Jack decided he was going to be Jacob’s successor (*dude, I told you there were going to be spoilers*), because, ya know…

 Him and Kate, right? Right?!

 But no. Not him and Kate. These two fictional characters attempted to have a fictional relationship, and it fictionally didn’t work out. And I can sit here and pretend I’m not writing about something else, about some other work of fiction not working out; that I’m not talking about finally closing the book and realizing that something else has come to an end, but you probably know me better than that. I’m pretty easy that way.

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 Lost was about faith and religion and science and love and people. Just like people, it tried to do it’s best to connect all these things together, and sometimes the project was disjointled. Sometimes it was sublime. I had a relationship with this show, a communion. It challenged me, and frustrated me, and I was beholden to it when it was doing well, and it was put on hold for things that were more interesting to me when I thought it was underperforming.

 But it’s ending on Sunday. The story is told, and the game is over. It will be up to me to determine in the long run whether I felt like I got out of it what I put in. I obviously will, but I’m still sad. In all my exhuberance and appreciation, I forgot that sometimes time runs out. That sometimes things move on, and that the world doesn’t revolve around my own personal schedule.

 Lost is ending/over/done, and I can’t stop that. I can just be appreciative of the time I had with it.

…. You guys get by Lost, I’m talking about Kelly, right?

-diggy