Today I learned that:

Every time a Minnesota Twins pitcher breaks the bat of an opposing player during the 2010 season, Minnesota State Parks and Trails will plant 100 trees in one of the 73 Minnesota state parks and recreation areas or along one of the 21 Minnesota state trails.

Which, if that isn’t just the cutest thing I’ve ever heard, I don’t even know what.

-andy

Today I learned that Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington tested positive for cocaine last season.

The more time you spend in whatever world you inhabit — politics, sports, music, business — the more you realize that there are no heroes, at least not in the Ancient Greek sense. You wind up meeting the people you knew before you actually knew them, and you realize they’re just people.  And even when they’re nice and smart and cool and respectful (as a surprising number of them are), they’re…human.  Actual people.  (I once met an Academy Award-winning actor.  Great guy.  Had ridiculous amounts of back-of-the-neck hair.)

And you realize that no one, in any sphere, is larger than life.  Gwyneth Paltrow forgets her friend’s birthday.  Jay-Z oversleeps because of Daylight Savings Time.  Bill Gates tears his shirt on a nail.  Barack Obama gets diarrhea.  I wrote a funny piece about this phenomenon once.  McSweeney’s chose not to publish it.  Probably because it wasn’t all that funny.  Probably because this lesson isn’t all that surprising.

-andy

Following up on my earlier FedEx revelation, today I learned that the Milwaukee Brewers logo contains an “m” and a “b.”  Milwaukee.  Brewers.

Can you find them?

Okay, how about this one:

There’s an “m,” an “e,” and a “b” in there.  Montreal Expos baseball.

Sorry.  My job prohibits me from writing about Obama’s plan to freeze non-defense discretionary spending, so I have to come up with something else to have learned today.

-andy